In response to kellie…
Don’t worry, Kellie, you didn’t burst my bubble…that happened ages ago.
As far as the working moms that I talk to, well, I guess I was referring to me when I was working (Development Writer, Corporate Producer, Music Public Relations to name just a few ) and childless, I took many an hour 1/2 long lunches to get away from the office. But then again, I’m an escapist. And a horrible employee. When I was a business owner with an infant and I had to go to business meetings/lunches (mostly to beg for more investments to keep my business going) wtih my 3 month old baby, because this culture lacks in sufficient and affordable childcare, then I would swallow food whole knowing I had a time bomb ticking in the little carrier by my side. No leisure there.
Now as I do full-time work as a mother I don’t really get to eat lunch. A day old waffle I find on the floor. A half an apple the dog brings out from under the couch. Small bit and pieces of crumbs and leftovers here and there.
I refuse to be in a “Mommy War” (title of a great new book of essays by mothers of all sorts who debate the issue of paid work versus full-time mothering). I support you, Kellie, in your choices as a mother. If I ruffled your feathers by commenting about ‘leisurely lunches’ in the working world, I am sorry. I guess I meant eating a lunch in general, perhaps even with other adults, and minus a screaming child. To me, that’s leisure.
On the other hand, there are days when we pack up a basket, full of good things: perfect wedges granny smith apples, chunks of raw cheddar cheese, flat bread and a tub of hummus, a bag of raisins, and a thermos of iced mint tea brewed under the hot desert sun and we head to the closest park, spread an old quilt made by Grandma under a tree and enjoy a perfect picnic. Now that’s leisire, too.
The grass is always greener, and the more honest experiences we share the better we feel about our own. My main point is to support mothers, be an advocate of all mothers as well as try to share my wisdoms and woes as a homebirthing, nursing, non-vaccinating, co-sleeping, music and art and yoga and nature loving mama. I love learning from parents with different life and mothering experiences. We learn so much for eachother not because we are the same, but because we are different. There is no right or wrong way to be a mother as long as you put love first. You are another myself. And once we (especially as mothers) get that concept, real unity and changes could happen.
Until then, blessings and wellness.
I tell my hubby that any lunch when you aren’t wiping someone else’s face (or any other body part) is leisurely.
I do sometimes have to complain about how he gets to leave the house more, get a haircut without having to arrange for a sitter, and other “luxuries” of a working parent. But after the complaining I remember that I get to go to the zoo and the park, play dress up, and don’t have to shower for my job. I still find the need to vent occasionally…just like my 3 & 4 year olds (the 8 year old seems to have grown out of “venting”).
Comment by Karen — September 21, 2006 @ 4:46 am
wow, that was a very gracious answer to a somewhat rude remark. perfect example of modeling behavior we’d want to see from our own kids.
i work outside the home and feel lucky that my husband is able to care for our 2 year old during the day. i have tremendous respect for all moms, whether they have paying jobs or not. i really believe that good, loving and compassionate parenting has the potential to change the world, one child at a time.
kudos to you for doing your part in making this world a better place!
Comment by sarah — September 21, 2006 @ 4:15 pm
Ah, the Mommy Wars. I love your positive outlook and although you and I seem very different, we both love our families with every ounce of our beings and I love to see what you write about. If you’re interested, here’s a link to a column I wrote on this subject:
http://www.westvalleyview.com/main.asp?Search=1&ArticleID=22088&SectionID=12&SubSectionID=7&S=1
Comment by Beth — September 21, 2006 @ 4:44 pm