What blessings my 32nd spin around the sun brought me!

I am grateful for this past phase of darkening skies. I like nothing more than dark cozy nights and gray chilly mornings.

I am grateful that the sky will become brighter as each days passes. I like nothing more than waking up to the warm sun and late nights lit by a solar glow.

I am so for thankful health and the health of my family. I can run and sing and dance and dream with my kids. We were able to pretty much avoid medical offices, doctors visits (except out friendly visits to our N.D.) and medicine all year. I am so grateful for a year of rosy cheeks, energy, strong bodies, healthy immune systems and drum-n-base hearts beating rhythms of love and magnificence.

I am thankful for breastmilk.

My Love, my husband, partner, muse, confidant, and my best friend forever more. I give thanks for him like a believer at the altar. It seems unreal that we are approaching our tenth year together. It must be good because it seems like a blink of an eye. I become more and more drawn to him as each year passes; his mysterious ways, shifting and soft eyes, his hands, so strong and that of a worker, a sweater, a pectoral muscle builder (yum). He nurtures me, calms me, excites me, motivates me and most of all, just moves me to be a better me. I remember calling my sister just after meeting B and telling her, ‘This is it. This is the one. No question in my mind.” He has never stopped working or having fun in the name of our love. I am so grateful. One of the things I am thankful for every morning and every night is how when we met our life‘s visions were so similar and compatible, and now they have been and are becoming our reality. It is heart-warming to know I have this partner in life creations. I am also really psyched he is not a work-a-holic, sounds odd, but he blows off making money to be with us all the time. And that I appreciate more than words can say. I am thankful he owns his own business and can make those kind of time decisions.

My children are the greatest teachers and lovers and gentle guides for me. Thanks and thanks and more thanks for that. What generous gifts to be given; teachers that love me as much as I love and worship them. And each lesson they teach me, whether it’s in simple everyday patience, or big ones like to love the most when you feel the least able to love, is not only a gift to me, it’s a gift to them. In return I get to practice my new knowledge, teaching them right back. A perfect circle. I never knew I could feel this way about other people. It’s almost frightening, in that really big roller-coaster way, to love this hard. It’s so bold and beautiful and mountain-massive that it’s practically fragile.

I am thankful for Mia’s outrageous smile and powerful stance on her ground. I am thankful for her strength and perseverance and how she honors her role as a leader. I am thankful for the way she learns things, jumping on any challenge. I am thankful for her happiness, simplicity; she is such a loving and friendly little girl who finds an inner-desire to greet and introduce herself to most people she walks by on the street. And she really wants to meet them. I am so glad she has such intense interest in life.

I am thankful for Sula’s piecing eyes, so big and round, a dark Universe of thoughts and emptiness all in the same, scattered with pools of light. Her eyes ask so many questions yet also seem to know the answers to them all. I am thankful of her natural gift to communicate, verbally and intuitively. She is making our close-knit parenting all the easier. I am also thankful she likes to go to bed by 8pm and passionately eats whatever is placed in front of her.

This year I have formed such innocent and passionate friendships with new souls. In these friendships I have found only respect, trust, honesty, love and plain old silly fun. To bond and mold and grow with others helps me in celebrating this human-hood. When I touch, support, need and connect outside myself, I only get to know myself better. These friendships are so new and fresh yet old and ancient, and let me become more and more conscious of who I really am, which in turn unfolds in the vastness of space and perhaps becomes contagious. I am so grateful for friends who desire to know me better and who allow me into their lives in profound and personal ways. I am so thankful for what shiny new and sparkly gifts of friendship I found as an adult.

I am thankful I never feel lonely.

I am so thankful for keeping the links to the communities of people who have been walking this life path for many, many steps with me. This year, I continued to grew closer with a friend I wrote notes to daily in school at age 11, taught to use a tampon at age 13, funneled Jim Beam with her at age 17, helped push her VW bus across the interstate 17 in the middle of blizzard at age 19, lived it up Hollywood style at age 24, and watched and loved her while giving a powerful birth to new life at age 28. I have reconnected with a friend I traveled across the Western states with when I was barely a women and when we landed on new ground she taught me, through example, to let go of fear and be the artist I always knew I was. I am finding new meaning with friends who are now going through pregnancy and childbirth for the first time. I am so grateful to bond over birth and the love of babies.

I am grateful for vegan restaurants. This past year an all vegan restaurant opened a few miles from my house. I am so thankful for the genius behind it. I so needed a place to dine out that fulfilled my belly with things like Faux Chicken Po-Boys and warmed me with spicy peanut noodle bowls. There seem to be such few quality and affordable spots to take kids that offer animal-free foods. I am so thankful that more and more people want to eat more consciously!

I am grateful for material energy, things that have flowed into my life and given me the ability to create and invest in my divine purposes as well pay the bills each month. Money has come easily and continuously and for that I am ever grateful.

I am grateful for my sea blue organic bed sheets I got this year.

I am thankful for my home.

I am grateful for my daughter’s teacher. After being hesitant about the pre-school because of it’s roots in a Christian dogma, I got pleasantly surprised could have asked for nothing more. We have been blessed with a teacher who is a mama. More than anything she loves all 6 of those kids like they were her own. She allows them to explore and make mistakes and never, ever makes them feel small. She trusts them. She listens to them. She hugs them. She sees what each of them are interested in and makes such points to discuss and explore those topics. She let Mia teach the class about Black Sabbath when her heart was oh-so-black with love for Ozzy, (since then she has moved on to many things, but now it’s the soundtrack to Sound Of Music). She brings them lessons about nature and shares the eggs from her hens with them, teaching them how to bake pumpkin pie and gingerbread cookies . I can’t even imagine Mia hanging out with another adult 2x a week. After all that searching and debating and doubting, I ended up with such a warming situation. Dogma aside, love wins all debates.

I am grateful for sound, music and vibrations. I am so grateful that we are surrounded by music, that my children are constantly enriched by the listening to, singing to, dancing to, and learning the creation and technical production of music. I was lucky enough to be brought up with music and instruments and now I am so thankful that we have been blessed to give our children a life full of song. From reggae to rock n roll, from jazz to American Roots, from gospel to break-beat, my kids are learning it all.

I am grateful for my yoga practice, although being held together by an angel-hair, it is still lives and it is a gift to me. I am so thankful for my yoga teachers, Naader Shagagi, Mary Bruce, Darma Mitra, Vanda Scaravelli, Jeanine Parvati, Dave Oliver, Sharon Gannon and David Life and most of all for the first goddess who lifted, gently rotated, and lengthened my side-body in Triangle pose and opened me up for a long needed swallow of pure prana, Nanette Cresto. From her, I learned that I would teach.

I am grateful for the teachings of quantum mechanics/physics, Goddess/God./Universal Energy/Law of Attraction, whatever one wants to call the understanding of the mystical science of self. I grew up hearing that it’s “all in God’s hands” and “what will be will be”. And I am grateful I heard phrases like that because it did instill a sense of faith, in something greater. But that God was always presented to me in a form of a specific loving Father, who lived in a Heaven which was not Earth, somewhere in the sky, with a face and code of rules. Now I know that for me, God is only the boundless energy within and around me and that phrase “what will be will be” means I own the intentions to cultivate myself and my surroundings. For my experience these teachings have resonated with me perfectly and they are helping me in my everyday. I am grateful my evolutionary mind-set and spirit-filled body have found a path that allows the meshing of those both effortlessly.

I am ever so grateful for the lessons my parents have taught me and continue to teach me. Just this year alone I have learned so much from them about unconditional love and patience. I have learned from my dad it does pay off to be a dreamer, for we do get much of the reality we dream about daily. No man has ever taught me the sweet taste on the tongue that generosity and kindness leave. I have learned from my mama that no matter how big a kid is, they are never too big to pick up and rock and cuddle. I ma thankful for her respectfulness and support in my choice to birth at home. I am thankful she notices how I parent my kids and she expresses to me the good I am doing with it. She reminds me all the time that my 3 year old is only a 3 year sold and that someday they will be a 33 year old. 7 kids and 16 grandkids later and ages 76 and 77 years old, they both have impressed upon me that health and longevity are utter states of mind (my parents are living visions of beauty and youth).

I am so thankful for my blood brothers and sisters. Together we are a web of power, magic, strength and connection. I am from a tribe of people and we are committed to keeping our tribe together, and guiding our children to continue on this powerful circle of people.

I am thankful for the Sun and the Moon. And the twinkling stars.

I am unbelievably thankful for Joan Jett and Bjork, who just this morning got me up and dancing after a morning from hell.

I am thankful for this planet. This food. This air. This atmosphere. For these abundant plant and natural resources, I give tons of thanks. I am so grateful new voices and generations of Earth activists, guiding me and teaching me to a deeper understanding of how fragile and precious out home, this heavenly home, really is. I smile big when I see changes being made in green directions. I am thankful for earth advocacy.

I am thankful for the long hot showers I take where I can escape from reality for a few moments and let the water beat down on my backside until my skin prunes.

I am thankful for shea butter, cocoa butter and hemp oil which I have used plenty this very dry, dry year.

I am thankful for Highlands Teething Tablets. And when they don’t work I am thankful for whiskey.

I am thankful for my car, our double stroller and the invaluable Ergo baby carrier.

I am thankful for this electronic journey in writing.

I am thankful Benefit Skin Tint.

I am thankful for chocolate and for it allowing me to worship it numerous times a day.

I am thankful for this mellow, mellow mood.

I am thankful for this list, which helped to completely pull me out of birthday funk.

I am grateful for you.

” alt=”" />

Every year, when my birthday approaches I go deeply inside, become a freakish hermit. It is not a time for me to write for viewers or to socialize or try to accomplish anything (not the best time time to be born, four days before Christmas, eh?). I try to stay away from anything group oriented and really begin to meditate on my year in hopes to begin t spinning visions and dreams for the next cycle to come. I write down lots of words and doodle stuff and either put it in my prayer box or burn it up to flames and ash, depending on what I want to do with the energy. Anyway, that is my reason to myself for not writing. So instead of my words, I leave the writings of a dear soul, offering some good info on the New Moon in Sagittarius(12/20), The Winter Solstice and the Universal Wheel turning into Capricorn.

” alt=”" />

127 WINTER SOLSTICE AND THE SAGITTARIUS NEW MOON

FINDING LIGHT IN DARKNESS

December 15, 2006

By Guru Rattana, Ph.D.

Because this holiday season is particularity intense, I am devoting a separate New Millennium Being to understanding the energies involved and how we can access (and enjoy!) them at their higher frequencies.

SKY EVENTS

The SUN shines in Sagittarius from November 22 at 3:02 AM PST (11:02 AM GMT) through December 21 at 4:23 PM PST (12:23 AM GMT December 22) - the day of the WINTER SOLSTICE. The Sun moves into Capricorn at the moment of Winter Solstice.

The SAGITTARIUS NEW MOON is the day before Winter Solstice - December 20 at 6:01 AM PST (2:01 PM GMT.) at 28 degrees Sagittarius.

At the SAGITTARIUS NEW MOON Mercury, Mars, the Sun, Moon, Jupiter and Pluto are ALL in Sagittarius. The Sun, Moon and Pluto are conjunct (within 2 degrees).

THE HOLIDAY SPIRIT

When the Sun enters Sagittarius just before Thanksgiving, there is a buzz in the air from the fiery charge of the archetypical energy of Spirit. From November 22 through Winter Solstice Sagittarius energy implodes in our psyche. However, the “holiday spirit” dramatically shifts at Winter Solstice, December 21 when the Sun moves into Capricorn. Those unaware of the power of the Sun sign to give its signature to our general mood wonder why all of a sudden they are exhausted, depressed and simply wish the “holiday season” were over.

Equally important is the impact of the Winter Solstice which occurs as the Sun moves into Capricorn on December 21st. The realignment of the Earth’s energies and the change of season have a profound impact on the human psyche and energy field. Yogi Bhajan told us that if we aligned with the shifting forces at both the Winter and Summer Solstices, we would be covered for the year. This alignment is easier to achieve in personal and group meditation than in a shopping mall or at an extroverted seasonal party.

YOUTH AND OLD AGE

There has to be a cure for our fall from jovial anticipation to haunting depression right at one of the most sacred times of the year. The cure requires understanding the meaning and value of the juxtaposition of two archetypes expressing radically different perspectives on life.

Sagittarius represents eternal youth, a free spirit, eagerness, enthusiasm, openness, flexibility and an optimistic future. Capricorn represents old age, authority, wisdom, stability, stillness, closure, the past and traditions.

We have already discussed both the immature and mature aspects of Sagittarius in NMB #126. *(1) We will explore the deeper meaning of all aspects of Capricorn in NMB #128. In this issue, I would like to share how tuning into the higher expressions of both archetypes can deepen our experience of this sacred time of year.

IN SEARCH OF MEANING

The Sagittarius archetype searches for meaning and for a direct experience of Spirit. Authentic meaning and personal experience is found inside ourselves and not from empty, provoked external stimulation. This fact becomes very obvious at this time of year. The intense role of Pluto in Sagittarius at the New Moon December 20 is making sure we get this point. We began our discussion of Pluto in Sagittarius (1994-2008) in NMB#125. *(2) In this issue we will deepen our understanding of the hidden agendas buried deep in our personal and collective psyche and their ramifications.

Pluto, the most distant from the Sun, is categorized as an impersonal planet. Although we each have Pluto in our birth chart and must deal with this muckraker in our own lives, Pluto’s impacts us all together as a human species. Pluto takes a search light into the workings of mass consciousness asking all of us - How do we collectively create our reality? How can we clean up what we are doing to the Planet and the human race?

The depression, deep sadness, rage and disorientation that we are experiencing collectively at this time comes from realizing the truth behind what Pluto is currently exposing about the War in Iraq, the systematic curtailing of freedoms in America, and the low consciousness of too many people on the planet, who blindly and willingly perpetuate and even indulge in sickening violence to other members of the human race. Something is very wrong. And even if we are in denial, we feel the impact of a great collective misfortune, which we feel powerless to counteract.

FINDING THE LIGHT WITHIN

But the lesson is not give up, give in and give out. If we truly embrace the lessons of Sagittarius we can find Spirit within and be guided to higher ground. While the Sun is in Sagittarius, we need to take advantage of the good vibes and cultivate our connection with Spirit in our own hearts.

The good news is that the Earth has ascended to a higher frequency, which some call the 5th dimension. With more Light on the Planet it is easier to see what is not working and why. It is also easier to experience the Light within ourselves. Despite one level of dismal reality, the joy of merging with higher frequencies is pleasurably available. We have to do our spiritual practices, align and care for our body and meditate on the Infinite within to have these experiences.

Many of us are finding that we can’t slack off for even one day or we are pulled back into the mass mud pool. But what the heck, how could we complain about doing our spiritual practice if it liberates us from the dismal alternative. We can only live in gratitude that we actually have access to the some of the most powerful tools to transform consciousness available to humankind - Kundalini Yoga and Meditation. We are so blessed! I live in gratitude for this gift!

PLUTO IN SAGITTARIUS EXPOSES THE TRUTH

The energies of both Sagittarius and Capricorn are simultaneously extroverted and introverted. Their highest realization depends upon our ability and willingness to pull our focus deep within ourselves. Pluto helps us out.

Pluto makes sure we see exactly what is going on and acknowledge how our shadows create our personal and collective realities. There is no skimming over the surface with Pluto. It is down and dirty, rubbing our noses in the muck, which so far in human history seems to be necessary for us to get the point. *(3) In this newsletter I wish to focus on the final phase of the Pluto in Sagittarius process - being part of the solution, by connecting to Spirit within.

Pluto’s macrocosmic scope reveals hidden karmic agendas of a global nature. Pluto’s slow and long cycle (13 years) triggers deep changes in society at large. *(4) While the Sun is in Sagittarius (November 22 through December 21st) four planets will also group in Sagittarius, climaxing their cluster effect at the Sag New Moon December 20th. Jupiter, Mars, Mercury, the Sun, the Moon and Pluto all join ranks. (Venus is in Sagittarius from November 17th through December 10th.)

When the personal planets (Mercury, Venus, Mars, and Jupiter) are in Sagittarius, we each in our own way search for meaning in our lives. The conjunction of Pluto with the Sun and Moon is “deepening and intensifying this search.” *(5) The goal of Pluto in Sagittarius is to demand a complete overhaul of our spiritual core. This year with Pluto within 2degrees of both the Sun and the Moon at the New Moon, the drama of our emotional scene intensifies and expands out globally.

We are not only being drawn to review our own spiritual base, we feel the necessity to evaluate what is happening to our global spiritual foundation. While many groups in the name of religion are not acting very ethical, greed for political and economic power is pursued with religious fervor. We know the condition of the human race was never perfect. But lunacy is just not acceptable. Pluto highlights the decay in our moral fabric.

BEING PART OF THE SOLUTION

We can pontificate (Sagittarius loves to be the preacher) about what must be done. But what is being asked of us is not to harden our moral positions. We have already done that and it is making things worse. There is so much black and white thinking, we almost forget there are many colors in the rainbow. Righteous positioning and polarization is a core cause of our current predicament. As Pluto nears the end of its sojourn through Sagittarius, we are being asked to try a new approach - to individually be part of the solution.

Individuals make up the collective. Individuals each doing their part can shift the collective consciousness. When Pluto enters Capricorn (2008), we will be asked to help build more just and equitable institutions. Pluto in Sagittarius is making sure we have the elevated consciousness required to make structural changes.

CONNECTING WITH SPIRIT AT WINTER SOLSTICE

Winter Solstice is always an introspective time. But with Pluto joining the party, along with the Sun, Moon, Mercury, Mars and Jupiter at the potent New Moon the day before, we are primed for some deep soul searching. As fanatics politicize ancient religions, as fundamentalists reinterpret sacred truths, as the morally denuded papacy covers-up sexual depravity, the authority of religious institutions that once offered security to believers is being dissolved. Extremism, scandals, petty thinking, hysteria and dissolution leave us no place to turn except inside ourselves. The truth has never been so clear — upliftment, purification, inspiration and Divine connection are our personal responsibility. No institution, no belief system, no external authority can substitute for the authentic and quiet connection with our own soul.

Winter solstice is the most inner point in the yearly planetary cycle. If we align with the energies of each phase of the natural progression of the seasons, we can consciously participate in and benefit from the gifts of each phase. We can experience that our lives reflect the many dimensions of a living system. Winter solstice is the most subtle shift. There is no way we can perceive the moment when decreasing light makes the switchover to increasing light and the days begin to lengthen instead of shorten. There is no dramatic marker, no reassuring sign that the final point of death and decline is over and regeneration and rebirth have begun. *(6)

We rely on trust and faith to have a positive attitude toward the future. But trust and faith are just not enough if they are not a result of our deep connection with Spirit. If our connection with the Divine is absent, our faith is phony and our trust is na�ve. It is the absence of authentic spiritual experience that makes people get depressed at this time of year, feel isolated and alone, experience a sense of doom and doubt, and conjure up other inner crises.

SACREDNESS IN SILENCE

Our holiday depression is not just the sugar blues from too many holiday sweets, light deprivation, bad weather and too little connection with nature, although these things certainly make things make us feel worse. It is the fact that our hyper-drive, need to be in control, ‘can’t relax without thinking what to do next’ personalities can’t let go long enough to witness the glory in the silent stillness of the sacred moment of death and rebirth. Winter solstice can be a beautiful time for those who are willing to slow down enough to enjoy it.

Throughout history people amused and uplifted themselves with stories, myths and celebrations of rebirth. They stood in awe of the miracle of darkness turning again into light. The mystery and gift of life has been a sacred theme of hope throughout time.

Pluto in Sagittarius exposes the hollowness of our conventional shopping mall attitude and secularized rituals that now dominate the holidays. But Pluto is also the source of hope, if we are willing to get real and get ourselves down on the meditation mat and out in nature. Connected to both our inner silence and the Earth’s stillness we can experience a real connection with the Divine and natural forces that unite us in oneness with our common divinity. This holiday season, we can stop and feel the sacredness in our own being. We can choose to feel the light in our hearts and share it with the world.

SAGITTARIUS NEW MOON - DECEMBER 20

Spiritual connection is the theme of the Sagittarius new moon December 20th, the day before the Winter Solstice. With 6 heavenly bodies in Sagittarius (Sun, Mars, Moon, Jupiter, Mercury and Pluto), we will experience yet another extraordinary new moon. This is the fourth new moon in a row occurring at the last degrees of the sign, signifying both completion and opportunity. Again we are at a spiritual crossroads. Our perspective of who we are, why we’re here and what we are going to do about it is up for a profound reorientation that could be as significant as a paradigm shift. This intensely Sagittarian new moon simulates a conscious awakening that can dislodge the conditioning that once made us feel secure, but now makes us feels limited and stuck.

Sagittarius expands our vision of ourselves to include an understanding of our soul, its place in the cosmos and our role in the Divine Plan. A doorway is opening for us to upgrade how we use and relate to our five senses. We are being blessed to use the divinely bestowed tools of our sensory system to ground and enjoy Spirit in our physical form. The more we attune our bodies to natural and cosmic energies, the more we are able to trust ourselves and consciously co-create with the Universe.

PLUTO ALIGNS WITH THE GALACTIC CENTER

An interesting factor that opens the space for a quantum leap at this new moon is the fact that Pluto (at 26 degrees Sagittarius) aligns with the Galactic Center, “where a super black hole, 4 million times more massive than our Sun, occupies the hub and heart of our Milky Way galaxy. Black holes are titanic energy sinks and also colossal transmitters of radio waves, with periodic flares of x-ray and infrared radiation. Pluto, the archetypal energy of death and rebirth, aligns within a degree of the Galactic Center from February 2006 through November 2007 - with exact passes on December 28, 2006, July 16, 2007 and October 28, 2007.” *(7) Adding to the intensity, Jupiter and the Sun cross the Galactic Core on December 5 and 19, 2007.

Only once every 248 years does Pluto align with the Galactic Center. The last time was in 1758-59, just before the American and Industrial Revolutions. During this 2 year alignment, “Pluto focalizes and intensifies the electro-magnetic radiation emanating from the galactic core. This catalyzes evolutionary changes in both or bodies and our psyches; we are being retooled, rewired and re-coded.” *(8)

Pluto is the heavy hitter of the astrological archetypes. Pluto obliges us to explore the unconscious, exposing our shadows. As unpleasant as the initial phase of this process may seem, it is a necessary prelude to releasing what is sabotaging us. The end result is a transformation of our core energy so that we can identify with our true identity, freely move forward with purpose on our path, and be in authentic relationship with the Cosmos. The symbology of the Galactic Core helps us respond to Sagittarius’s invitation at this new moon to aim straight at our goal from the depths of our heart.

?EVOLUTION OF ARCHETYPES — PROGRESSIONS

PRACTICAL GROUNDED LOGIC AND ACTION

No sign exists in isolation. We each have planets in many signs and have all the energies of the zodiac available to us in our birth chart. Our developmental process depends upon using the various energies to grow and evolve in a balanced way.

The abstract mind of Sagittarius needs the factual, technical mind of its polarity GEMINI and its second mutable partner Virgo to ground it in daily life. Sagittarius benefits from the “precise, accurate Virgo/Gemini lens, to zero in on the target.” *(9) At the same time, both Gemini and Virgo need the bigger picture furnished by Sagittarius (and Pisces, the 4th mutable sign) to not get bogged down in details. Virgo and Gemini need the Sag overview to extricate themselves from short-sightedness and worrying too much about factual mistakes. *(10)

To operate in the world, Spirit must be grounded. One of the biggest challenges on any spiritual path is to integrate the energies of non-physical reality into our physical experience of time and space. Tuning into the energies of fixed signs - Taurus, Leo, Aquarius, Scorpio - helps stabilize the fluid, flowing energies of the mutable signs. The Earth energies of Taurus, Virgo and Capricorn also add structure, offer the ability to organize, and supply the qualities of commitment and responsibility to the Archer seeking to live a functional spiritual life.

The Sag goals of spiritual grounding and living by common-sense wisdom both require life experience and learning about Earthly reality through trial and error. To understand how the Archer learns to navigate the physical plane requires the understanding of an astrological concept that I will discuss for the first time - progressions.

30 YEAR PROGRESSIONS OF OUR SUN SIGN

In astrology there is what may appear as an abstract concept (Sagittarius), but which accurately corresponds to our human experience (Gemini). This is the concept of PROGRESSIONS. Progressions incorporate the idea of personal evolution and transformation during this lifetime. We generally observe the progression, or evolution, of our Moon, Sun, Venus, Mercury and Mars - the fast-moving personal planets. The other planets move slower, so the effects of their progression are not as noticeable as the fast moving planets.

The complete zodiac is comprised of 360 degrees. The zodiac is divided into 12 signs, each of which is assigned 30 degrees. PROGRESSION refers to the sequential movement through the 12 signs. In the dynamic of progressions, each degree equals one year. Our personal progressions start on the day we are born. Let’s look at the progression of our Sun sign. (We need our birth chart and an ephemeris to figure out the progression of our Moon, Mercury, Venus, and Mars. Better yet, we need an astrological program that gives us the exact information.) But for our Sun sign we can get within a year of the progressed movement simply by counting the days from our birthday to the date that the Sun moves into the next sign.

The Sun changes signs between the 19th and the 22nd of each month, most often on the 21st. To figure out the approximate date when your Sun “progresses” into the following sign, count the days from your birthday to the 21st of the same or next month. For example, if you were born on November 3rd, counting to November 22nd would give you 19. When you were 19, your progressed Sun moved into Sagittarius (the next sign after Scorpio.) If you were born on November 30th, count the number of days to the 21st of December when the Sun moves into Capricorn - 22. You were 22 when your progressed Sun moved into Capricorn.

If you have your birth chart, the calculation is even easier. If your Sun is 17 degrees Gemini, it progressed into Cancer at the age of 4. The Sun moves into Cancer the 21st of June. 21-17= 4.

After the first calculation, which can be known accurately with a computerized astrological program, the next calculations are easy - every 30 years. Your progressed Sun stays in the sign following your Sun sign for 30 years, before it moves to the next sign for another 30 years. It thus behooves us to carefully study the attributes and the lessons of the two signs following our Sun sign. These signs will help us actualize the goals and learn the lessons of our Sun sign.

THE SAGITTARIUS 30 YEAR PROGRESSION THROUGH CAPRICORN

From 1 to 29 years after birth, every Sagittarian will enter a 30 year progression of his/her Sun through Capricorn. At the hand of Saturn, Sagittarius learns to plan, stay focused on a goal and become more realistic in terms of the limitations of available energy, time and resources. The Sag “play ethic” is tempered by the Capricorn “work ethic.” Sagittarius is more inclined to keep options open, to resist fixed deadlines and to operate spontaneously, avoiding long-term planning. *(11)

Sagittarius prefers fun projects, where the preparation is interesting and any maintenance offers newness. The Archer, always eager to move on, considers clean up a waste of good time that could be spent on the next project. During the Capricorn progression, Sag is forced to deal with the reality of the business world and to move lofty ideas into the practical arena of focused, dedicated effort. Capricorn’s work ethic makes it possible for Sag to manifest realistic goals in the physical reality of a limited amount of time, space and energy.

When its goals are too general and distant, Sag doesn’t know where or how to start or how to keep going. Capricorn teaches the Centaur that aspirations can only be achieved through consistent hard work and dedicated commitment to one’s goals. Capricorn demonstrates common sense, focuses on practicality and shows Sag how to operate in the business world of stress, work related details, deadlines, and daily routines.

CELEBRATING THE BIRTH OF OUR INNER CHILD

So back to the holiday season. Before the birth of Christ, the ancients from Persia to Roman Britain celebrated the feast of Mithras the Divine Child on December 25th. The Mithras celebration focused on meditation and spiritual initiation. At the darkest time of the year the Mithras cult not only celebrated the birth of Mithras, but the “internal birth of the divine child within the soul of each initiate.” *(12) The idea was to tune into the inner hope of our own continual rebirth.

Later the Archbishop of Canterbury decided to build Christian “churches on the sites of the Mithras cult and to set the feast of the Christ child’s birth on December 25th, thus preserving the Feast of the Child for us.” *(13) Remembering the origins of our current holidays, we can wisely structure this season to tune into and celebrate the silent stillness from which we are reborn each year.

The fiery energy of Sagittarius opens our heart to the playful child within. The earth energy of Capricorn slows us down to the point where we can experience stillness and peace within. The still, peaceful core deep within our being is the manger which gives birth to and nurtures our inner child.

TRACKING AND NURTURING OUR MOOD

As we move through the Winter Solstice and witness the shift into Capricorn of the Sun (Dec. 21), Venus (Dec. 11), Mercury (Dec. 28), and Mars (Jan. 16), we can monitor how our mood changes. Notice when the spirit of the carefree, optimistic Centaur gets lost in the Capricorn preoccupation with shoulds and oughts, as well as family duties and professional responsibilities.

We can create our own antidote by merging the two sacred energies in our psyche. We can reorient our attitude toward the highest expression of these two energies - youth and age. The child feels the magic and is eager, open and spontaneous. Instead of spoiling our own fun by devolving into the rigid, perfectionistic, burdensome attitudes that often accompany our industrious preparations, we can hold the sacred space for heart-felt sharing and connection. Do only what the kids, your inner child or your friends’ inner child will enjoy. Eliminate the shoulds just for this year and see how you and everyone else respond. We can also add some quiet reflection and silent meditation to our rituals. Lighting candles can remind us of how we share our light with the world.

PRANAYAMA AND MEDITATION TO ELEVATE OUR SPIRIT

Inner connection in silence and stillness is nature’s instruction during this time of year. Within the stillness, we find aliveness and experience the spark of Spirit that animates our being. One Kundalini yoga kriya that works very powerfully to counter act depression by igniting our inner fire is the kriya for Sun Energy found on page 34 of TRANSITIONS TO A HEART-CENTERED WORLD. *(14)

The first exercise is breath of fire through the right nostril for 3-5 minutes. Block the left nostril with the left thumb with the fingers pointing straight up. To end, inhale deep, hold the breath and then relax. Meditate on the clear, silent space within your mind. (Right nostril breathing is energizing. Left nostril breathing is relaxing.)

The second exercise is breath of fire for 3-5 minutes with the hands interlaced a few inches above the head. Feel the pulse of the navel and the pulse of the breath at the 7th chakra at the top of the head. To end, inhale, hold the breath, exhale and sit quietly. Focus your attention on the silent stillness in your head and the simultaneous aliveness in your body. Simply be present to the experience.

After you have completed the above (or the whole set), do the following meditation, which is found on page 137 of TRANSITIONS. This meditation washes away negativity and darkness with the Light vibration of WHA GURU.

Sit in easy pose with hands on the knees, thumbs and forefingers touching. Inhale 8 equal parts, i.e. the inhale is divided into 8 equal parts. Silently chant WHA on each inhale, “striking” each chakra with the breath and the sound. (1) root, (2) abdomen, (3) navel, (4) heart, (5) throat, (6) third eye, (7) crown/top of head.) The 8th Wha is released around the body.

On the exhale, silently release the sound GURU unto infinity. Continue for 5 to 11 minutes or longer. At the end, sit silently in the stillness that holds your being and the aliveness that animates it. Lovingly celebrate your life.

May you enjoy the sacred stillness of the season!

I have been trying to write this for a week. This daily writing thing has it’s good and bad points. I am just not clever enough to attempt to entertain on a daily basis. Some days I want absolutely no outside communication. At all. So to come and un-peel myself in this format is a real challenge. And the time I would have liked to spend thinking about writing a great Diva of the Day, (a subsidiary of Shameless Sistah Promotions:-) I had to spend figuring out a way to burp something, anything out on paper. Anyway, I hope I can do justice when I speak of this marvelous, talented Diva.

Since my first Diva was a sex activist, my second obviously should be a birth activist.

Her name is Jeanette and she is amazing.

When I first moved to the Phoenix area, specifically Scottsdale, I knew only my much older brother and his wife and their kids. That’s it. I had no idea how as new mom whose birthing and parenting and lifestyle choices seemed practically illegal in this relatively conservative and uptight little community I had landed in would meet others I could vibe with. Where was I to start? Anytime I pulled my boob out to feed my year old in public it felt like I had a scarlet letter across my forehead. It all seemed overwhelming and being the kind of person who feels perfectly fine alone, figuring I only planned on being here a very short time, who really cared? I’d just consider it an experiment in hibernation and not worry about making friends. I had loads of good ones other places. No need to struggle looking here. How was I going to find anyone special?

One day, while doing research for a book I was writing on homebirth, I came across an announcement for a Birth Circle. It was opened to women all over the phoenix area and it offered support, community, advocacy and education for women and their birthing choices. It was put on by The Arizona Birth Network, a non-profit organization which was a fresh voice for mother-centered birth, i.e. safe birth. Being a happy homebirther, trying to write a book on the exact subject, and being disbelief that something like this could exist here, I ran to the Circle.

The first time I saw Jeanette LeBlanc at that birth circle, I was shocked. I couldn’t believe that a women that young was the resposible for this gathering. I immediately saw her wisdom twinkling in her eyes. She was beyond her years in knowledge and skill. Yet, when I saw her dipping a chocolate- chocolate chip cookie in a plateful of ambrosia salad (there was even food there for all of us) I knew she was a kid at heart and I knew I was meant to just adore her forever. I had little Mia in a sling and found a slew of other mamas slinging surrounding me, breastfeeding! Talking about their births! We shared joy and pain and healing experiences and the blood and guts. We told stories of homebirth heaven and hospital rapes. There was crying and laughing. People spoke of homebirth like it was normal and non-abusive! Wow! Everyone looked relaxed and at home. It was indeed a true Circle. A fellowship. A tribe of healers who were really just women-mothers but by joining together in such intimate ways, grand things were occurring. Mystical. Important. It was a sign to be that birth rites were about to change and that these women were going to have everything to do with it. And this young women, this brown haired, blue-eyes, long legged beauty who was excited and well spoken started it all. She was my hero.

Jeanette likes to un-deservingly criticize herself for not “having it together”, or not doing all she “needs to”. But how many women do you know who come here from another country, under the age of 30, with a husband and a child, living in somewhat secluded suburbia, start a city wide non-profit that educates through workshops, birth circles, and a free-exceptionally high quality newsletter (she even made me the features editor because she loves me so much and does not mind I don’t know how to spell)? Sounds so me like a bit of an achiever, right? Every bit of an activist, political and personal, because peace and justice starts for women when they can connect their yoni, their hearts and their minds and gather for others and just begin to change the way things are. She is a goddess. Not only is she type-A (in a good way, her work is perfect pretty much all the time) she she’s creative and can visualize change and she actually has the energy to do something about it. She doesn’t just talk about how awesome it would be to start and connect powerful systems of women who care about birthing and babies and families…SHE DID IT. She draws in world-renown birth professionals and best-selling authors to come to Birth Circles. She refers to the great Henci Goer and Sarah Buckley as her friends…and they are! One of the coolest things I was thinking about when pondering Jeanette and what she has done for my life and undoubtedly for so many others is that 90% of the women/mothers I am lucky to know now, I met because of Jeanette. And even cooler, 98% of those 90% either had a homebirth/planned one/are planning on birthed un-medicated and/or the way the wanted/are birth savvy all around. These facts apply to approx. 1.5% of the entire US population, and for me the stats falls in the 90th percentile. Where else on earth can you easily find so many people who believe power and healing in birth, whether you are looking for a friend or a care-provider? Jeanette has had a hand in creating this fact. She is a connector, like a magnetic orb she spins a silvery and strong web of people that are good to know.

I am in awe.

And not only is she a birth worker, a doula and a non-profit organization founder, she is also a child and birth photographer. And she is not just any photographer. She captures the inner light and love of the lucky people who get in the way of her shutter. I’ve seen her explode in less than a year from a really good picture-taker to someone who is a breathtakingly artistic and precise photographer, developing style and composition at the speed of light. Literally.

Jeanette can support you through your pregnancy, take photos of your blooming belly, be utterly with you at your birth; placing her hands of peace on that lower back spot where the baby’s skull is pressing and relieve with magical counter pressure, and all the while snapping photos capturing the essence of your deepest birthing warrior. And when she is done with all that she can take some heartwarming photos of your new life. Phew. I’m tired just writing about all her talents. Her lack of sleep has nothing to do with her 1 year old daughter. No, it has to do with the fact she is helping to heal the world.

So the last person in the world who should think they are not doing enough work or not getting to what’s ’suppose’ to be done, is Jeanette. She is a diva. And I bet she could do all that she does in smooth black stilettos holding a girly drink of her choice.

Jeanette is helping change the world for all women, babies and families. That is no small feat. I am honored to be her friend.

Why are all my jeans getting smaller?

When I go to replace those shrinking kind of jeans with one that stay the same size, why do they cut of circulation in my ankles and only cover the bottom half of my ass? Who makes jeans for only half-asses? Butt-cracks aren’t that cute.

Why is it that I a not stressed out until I decide to write a list of things I need to do before we leave for New Mexico? Seeing in writing does not make me feel better, it makes my head swell and my thoughts lock.

Why can’t I figure out what to get my sisters kids that’s as easy as the Starbucks cards my sister said to get them? I am not getting children whose median age is 10 Starbucks. But I can’t think of anything else. I thought for a moment to get cute to go coffee mugs that they can bring to Starbucks and have it filled with god knows what a kid gets from there, I hope chocolate milk. But then I remembered this is my sister K and though we are worlds apart in a lot of ways, our cars and organizational habit’s are a bit a like. I know those proposed mugs would get lost in the endless hole of car stickiness somewhere, yet nowhere to be seen again. I bought a family-worth of Sigg Water bottles (4) and we have one left.

Why does a breech baby entail a Cesarean at week 39 when she is only 36ish weeks gestation? Isn’t there time for a baby to spin? Why does a hospital’s “protocol” not allow vaginal breech births even if the doctor claims he has no problem “delivering” one vaginally and he would no doubt attend to one if only the hospital let him?

Why is it that my nephew is being offered ooddles and ooddles of money and a huge signing bonus by nationwide drugstores for his pharmacy services. Fresh out of college, he is being recruited, wined and dined by drug-folks everywhere? Or should I say: Why is the whole country on prescription meds? (I actually did ask my nephew about what prescription drug was the most prescribed, thinking he would say Ritalin or anti-depressants. Cholesterol. The top most popular drugs are both types of cholesterol medication.

Why is traditional (non-native) American food hotdogs and hamburgers? What else is there that is considered homeland cuisine? BBQ Ribs? Prime Rib and a baked potato? Pizza? Anything McDonalds?

Why is it that my husband keeps trying to talk me out of forming dreadlocks (especially since naturally, that’s what the back of my hair wants, not the front, that’s another story. Stick straight and lifeless) when he’s walking around with a dreadlocked mohawk which he sometimes wears in a pony right at the top of his head. I have to go around looking at that, without trying to laugh too hard, so you’d think he could deal with some pretty, girly, smooth dreads on me.

What’s up with the mood swings and memory loss when breastfeeding? Does it ever get back to “normal”?

What’s up with the nipples after a second round of nursing? First time around I had some firm stuff goin on. I never knew “soft” nipples existed. I guess I need more oils.

Can one OD on too much fatty oils?

Why is my daughter’s favorite food a tub of Earth Balance (vegan butter spread) sprinkled with salt and eaten with a butter knife? And how come I never see her sneak it out of the fridge? And how bad is it for her to eat it straight which she did for at least 10 minutes while I was in the shower today. Not to mention she got into this weekend as well and had a mighty fine time dining on it, hiding under the desk in the office.

Why do my dishes come out with more food stuck to them after they have been washed by the dishwasher?

What kind of parent takes their kid to their school’s outdoor holiday party and forgets to put a jacket and socks on them? And forgets to take her camera?

(even though these are questions I asked myself, if anyone has any answers or enlightenment, i would so love to hear)

Today was one of those days that got me breathing a big sigh of relief. It was a really good day. These past couple weeks my moods have been all over the place, my patience thin as new ice. I have been easy to snap and bitch. My level was on low and slow and my head ached. My saving grace was trying to write some positive things so I could find some motivation in my own life. My whole energy has been fuzzy, hazy, sleepy and pretty darn grumpy.

But today it lifted. The girls were so adorably cute, happy an chatty as they woke up, kissing and giggling and playing together. Sure beats Mia getting on the window seat and taking a flying dive off it on top of Sula or me. Bill and I slept another 1/2 hour while my gals read books in bed together. Then Bill took them out of the room and got their oatmeal made and I got to sleep another 30 minutes! I told Bill that one (of many!) thing (s) he must do, if circumstance creates opportunity, is take the girls out of bed every morning so I can get a bit of alone time (quiet rest) before I start my day. I asked him to imagine his material suppliers, his superintendents and his clients all right there, in the bedroom, as soon as he wakes up and they have coffee with you and then they drive to work with you and then they are with you constantly from that point on. That’s what it’s like when the kids wake me up and we are a threesome, non-stop for 10 hours, and then a foursome after that. I get no solo drive to work, or empty houses to work in or a trip to the bathroom alone. I think he got it.

The girls and I hung out at home all morning which set the vibe. They played and read books and let me get some editing/writing work I had to do for Arizona Birth Network (I know. Me? Editing,? What a funny thought!) We stayed in our jammies until 11am and without much of a struggle, we all got dressed. Then we went and played on the lawn next to the skate park and watched skaters while I took utterly overexposed and blurry photos of Mia and Sula (but I had such a blast taking them, I swear it’s just as good for me then when I get 1 decent shot). We also had fun cleaning up all the soda cans littered on the lawn. Even Sula was entertained as a liter patrol and ate her first cigarette butt (yes, mom, I washed out her mouth and hands. eventually). After that we fed some ducks bread and afyter Sula began eating the bread, too we left to go to a yummy vegan restaurant, Green. The girls were happy and in good spirits and were excited to eat their noodles. I had a superb Thai peanut bowl, so fresh and clean and tangy. Much to our pleasant surprise, mere mortal dada, the man Leigh and Kaia love, walked in the restaurant with a friend. The girls love him, as I think all kids of all ages do. They great thing about where I live is that it’s not so big and there is a chance you run into people you know it there. I like when I like the person I run into. It was a welcome change to have lunch where the girls where super mellow and ate lots and acted coy with the boys while I got to chat with some friends about big-kid stuff like vehicles to get on the road and start a circus with.

We deserted on a Smores soy milkshake. It was filled with vegan marshmallows, crushed up graham crackers, and chocolate and vanilla soy ice cream. That alone can make a day happy.

After that we went next store to Acme Prints and ordered a silkscreen and 15 American Apparel shits a few for presents this year and some we will eventually sell. Acme was filled with hot men running silk-screens. Hot. I’m serious. Where did they come from? Plus three adorable dogs. Service was awesome and I got 15 sweatshop free shirts with a silkscreen printed on them for less than $10 a shirt.

By the time we got home, Bill was there, cleaning the house thoroughly plus he picked up all the dog poop in the backyard. Which I guess should make up for the fact left the baby’s big solid poop in the cloth diaper and threw it in the wash like that.

Bill watched the girls while I got some New Year’s card made. I made a kick ass veggie soup for dinner. The girls went to sleep on our way home from the bookstore, where we bought magazines to cut images out for our vision *board. We actually went home and instead of getting lost behind computers or Pro-Tools recording gear, we actually hung out and cut more images out and tacked them to our board, which is beginning to fill up with color and shapes and faces and random things important to us.

Other highlights include Mia telling me I was her best friend. Sula wouldn’t stop kissing me with those juicy lips and when she was done kissing me she’d look at me and ask, ’ngain?’ (again) and I’d say yes and she’s plant another on me. Mia spilled a big thing of apple-grape juice and cleaned it all up herself (sort of). Sula let me “mr. blue” her (that nose squeezer snot thing) her completely stuffed up nose. 4-5 people told me they loved me today. I received a hysterical Christmas card from my pregnant friend dressed up like a an old west saloon girl. I am going to start writing articles for a sustainable living website.

I liked today. Here’s to tomorrow.

*We got a huge corkboard and started tacking specific images up; people we respect, photos of kids with farm animals, travel magazine clippings to all the places we want to travel. A fun, easy and colorful way to lay out our visions together.

*

Om.

I love mantras. Love them. I so believe in the vibrations of the words, be it in Sanskrit, English or whatever language that speaks to the heart. From what I was taught, Sanskrit was not specifically created to communicate verbally by what the word defines, instead it was formed to imprint the most ancient sound in one another’s consciousness, enabling people to telepathically communicate through vibrations. Sounds pretty cool. But I think the same goes for English chants (or whatever language). The Universe speaks in all tongue and words uttered with intention sends out a message. Depending on what you say, you are communicating with a larger energetic field, the source, the knowledge vault.

Mantra’s are so powerful when we want to draw something in or heal or just to share gratitude with the universe for all we have. We all catch ourselves saying, “I can’t do this!” “I can‘t do this!” “I am so broke.” “My ass is fat.” “I am so tired.” In many ways these complaints are ‘mantras’ being sent out to the universe. We are delivering a message of what we DON’T have. So when we constantly talk of being so tired…we’ll remain tired because that is what we are affirming. But what if instead of saying “I am so tired.” (I am using this as an example because it seems to be the biggest complaint I have and I have it daily and bitch about it quite a bit. I am trying to break this.) How about saying, “I need more energy” (or sleep). Think about it. Saying I am so tired is just going to boomarang right back and we’ll continue to be tired. But saying what we need…like energy (or work, or a house, or a healthy relationship, or a healing)…then perhaps we may just get that.

There are no rules or restrictions of chanting, probably the most important thing is that it’s none-harmful.* And the point is we don’t have to be totally aware or in some sort of meditative and serious state when we chant. It’s all about the vibration and intent. Point being, we can be doing other things….changing a pooped diaper, driving to the store, grocery shopping (Yes, I do sing to my kids in public without having an ounce of a good voice.) doing paper work, gardening, jogging. I personally love to chant them on walks, belting them out loud so my girls can hear, feel and learn them and for the looks on people’s faces who pass by : gee, she didn’t look foreign, the kids are so blond.(For a reminder of my general neighborhood vibe, read my very first entry from last January, hence where the title Misplacedmama is born.)

While I was pregnant with Mia I had an extremely lucid dream where I was climbing up an incredible rocky and steep mountain. It was pouring raining and I was barefoot; it was challenging, back breaking work. I kept slipping and sliding and in my dream I kept telling myself that this dream was a test of my will and that really it was only a mountain and of course I could keep climbing it. Every once in a while I would say out loud, “I am tired and scared!” But I had to tell myself to stop and instructed myself to start chanting, “To the mountain of no fear.” So while I climbed in my dream, I chanted. When I finally reached the top there was the moon, waiting for me, big, round and a milky amber yellow. It was like 2 feet away from me and I reached out my hand and touched it. I woke up and was aware that my mantra for my last moments of pregnancy was to be, “To the mountain of no fear where the moon is 2 feet away.” Silly, simple, but it worked for me, relieving me of inner-fears. I chanted it on my walks and while I worked. That dream was not unlike my labor in symbolism and when I reached that state of open and my baby came out, she certainly was a little moon.

While I was pregnant with Sula, my sister and I were hanging out with Mia at the park. Mia came running up to us, very suddenly, pointing her finger in our faces and very seriously and intensely said, “DON’T FIGHT IT!” and then in the next moment her face and her voice softened up and she said, “Just riiiiiiide it.” Don’t fight it, ride it. That was by far the most perfect mantra for me from that moment on as control issues and due dates where beginning to clash. Quite a few times in earlier labor, while floating in my birth tub, blowing bubbles in the water, I sang out those words. And in that birth I learned to ride the wave exactly the way I needed to, rarely fighting the rushes of the water.

After Sula’s birth we were experiencing some pretty intense financial situations(broke beyond belief). It was nothing new for us and nothing we knew we couldn’t figure out , we just didn’t know how. Yet. Then I came across a mantra which draws in abundance while greeting the deity, goddess Lakshmi, who safe keeps it, maybe even purifies it and hands it out.

“Om Shrim Maha Lakshmiyei Swaha. (Om Shreem Maha Lawk-Shmee-ya-Swa-haw”

For 40ish days, approximately 108ishX a day (it goes by really quickly, I could finish it in an ½ hour walk.) I noticed a shift and a flow and in came more patience, health and wealth; all things I hoped for. Repetition and intention were all I needed to impresses abundance on my inner-most cellular level, enabling my innate ability to draw in my needs. Or maybe it was just the time for it to all happen, and I saw it coming. Careers changed, businesses started and we finally could take a deep breath and pay some bills.

Bill has one he made up that he calls MC FEC= Money Comes Freely, Easily and Continously. This helps him not stress so much at work, for him, time really is money as well as high pressure and physically laborious. Repeating this helps him release his concern about money while working, so he can just focus on doing a thoughtful and precise job because the money he needs will come in regardless.

I am chanting one now for knowledge and understanding. My lessons are like shooting arrows right now and so many opportunities are attacking me, asking me to open my mental doorways. I am utterly overwhelmed by the notions that have been presented to me or I seek; shamanism, quantum mechanics, and the ever-expanding and growing love for and from my children. The later has opened and filled so many places of my heart that it is obvious they are teachers and what they teach me blows my mind away. I know so little and yet feel saturated with all this beautiful information about myself and the world, it keeps finding its way to my brain but I am still trying to figure out how to use it. I want understand me on this Earth a bit better and I found a perfect mantra for it. I pin this up on my calendar and try to sing it here and there while I pass throughout the day:

Om Eim Saraswatiyei Swaha. (Om I’m Sah-rah-swaht-yay Swah-ha_)

This is a greeting to the divine feminine, particularly the goddess Saraswati. She represents the part of us that contains knowledge and creativity, plus helps memory power…memory in this life (I need to find my keys! Wallet! Kid!) and beyond. Like I said, I love chanting in Sankrit, but any language will do once you find the words that resonate with you, words that ring you’re the bell in your gut and open that 3rd eye. I think the most important thing to try is to have somewhat correct pronunciation…and as far as I was taught, you can make up your own little melody for it, or rap it over a beat, however it flies with you.

And even bedtime songs I think of as mantra, ritual of sound. My girls hear the same couple made-up songs about sleeping, and even though they won’t go to sleep, they know it is time to go to sleep. Before even knowing any of the words, Sula knew the tunes and knew they meant bath or night-night, the sound gave her body the message.

So if you feel so inclined, give the universe a message. Make it good, make it peaceful, make up a chant.rhythm.song for it and sing it out for the next month. Believe what you need and want will come to you and don’t give up faith soon. Those seeds will surely sprout if watered (or sung).

Peace.

Om

*What is considered harmful is relative I guess. When I wrote that I was thinking, how do I feel about someone chanting for abundance so they can buy, say, a really huge, massive city Hummer, which to some represents resources waste and emissions, as far a vehicle goes, so some might say that indeed is harmful, remember there are people in places in this world who wear tape over their lips when outside so they won’t accidently eat and kill bugs, any car to them is harmful to living creatures. Others would say absoluetly not harmful. Because there is plentiful abundance in the world, if someonw wants Hummer, another person is then choosing to ride a bike, or better yet, there are an abundance of resources as well, so if oil runs out, then another resource will be made available if we want it to be. Personally, I do try to stay away from judging this kind of stuff and place my hope in a mantra for over-all peace and non-violence.

*artwork by artwork by www. Pop-Temple Hamburg pop.ac

Today we had to take our 8ish year old male Husky to an emergency vet appointment. We still are not sure what is wrong with him; it takes him a very long time to get up from a laying down position to standing, he has lost his appetite and limps on different legs, depending on the hour. We throughly checked his limbs and he shows no signs of pain when we massage them. It’s like hi almost can’t feel his limbs. Things started to go down hill for him when he jumped up on the kitchen counter and ate the entire (I mean entire) turkey carcass from Thanksgiving. All the leftover meat and every…single…bone. I know his ‘sister/partner’ helped him along in the eating extravaganza but Thunder most likely, leather belly that he is, scarffed most of it down himself. The Vet seemed to think it may be Valley Fever, a strange fungal sickness in this area that one contracts from dirt and dust of the valley. She didn’t think it was a bone lodged in his intestines causing nerve damage (my uneducated guess). The blood work will come back tomorrow but if it’s negative then we have to knock him out and take some serious X-rays. Sending Thunder healing love…

While I was in the waiting room at the Vet’s I picked up a copy of Working Mother Magazine. I skimmed through it, and came to an article of interest: Working Moms Who Save The World. It interviewed some amazing mothers who have started organizations which protect human rights, safe guard children, labor rights and do all sorts of advocacy in developing countries.

One particular mothers interview caught my eye. Katie Redford has a company called EarthRights International, a human rights advocacy group that is very much international. When her daughter was three she had to do a whirlwind tour of Europe, with no time to arrange for a sitter anywhere, her daughter attended every meeting, went to every boardroom and every press conference, basically she went everywhere her mama went. She noted that in Burma you strap your baby to your back and you go an gather food and are involved in every aspect of their life. She said that is how it is with her kids, how they have been raised: they understand work. I made a mental note that this is very much like the mother-friends I am lucky to have in our very developed country. We wear are babies and cart them around everywhere. I couldn’t imagine a different way.

Then the article went on to say:

In recent years, Katie says, she’s been hearing of more mothers seemingly preoccupied with lavishing 24/7 attention on their kids. “I hear things like “I don’t work because I want my kids to think they are the most imp0rtant things in the world, ” she says. “We are a country of millions who all think they are the center of the universe. My children are loved and they know they are the most important thing to me, but there is a huge world outside.”

Am I keeping/protecting my kids from that world outside?

I have always dreamed that we would not only be strapping our babies on us while we did our daily duties such as shopping and housekeeping and socializing, but that I would be out in the world, babies in tow, writing about the vast earth under our feet and around us. Or maybe we’d be bus and plane trotting around the globe playing positive and uplifting music, all while our kids where right by our sides. Or that I would be working daily in urban gardens, donating my time at housing developments and taking on city-wide street cleaning adventures. And the best part would be that my kids where attached to me, seeing the world from this view. These were things I spent my time doing before I was a mother. Now it seems like our day revolves around preschool and the grocery store. It seems as if my day revolves around keeping sane while I spend every second with kids, or other mothers with kids.

I have given our children my time and choose to stop outside the home business endeavors because we wanted one of us to be the primary caregivers, on call at all times, until the youngest was at least 5. I love not “working” for anyone else and I so appreciate that financially we are able to do it, it was hard the first 3 years, as we were dirt poor, but blessings have been bestowed and the poverty lifted. But I really do want to show my girls the world through their mama’s heart, even if it’s just the world outside their own insular community. I want them to know we are just a speck of dust, a small part of this chaotic wind of life. I want them, at the earliest age possible, to understand that they are indeed a part of one whole universe, a very large one indeed. A universe that their mama wants to get her hands dirty in.

If they could watch me give my time and passion as gifts to the world, witnessing me at what I do best , what I love, I will be teaching them to honor their passions and world work. I know the little things count, like how we treat others and basically how we consciously step each step through life. How each word that spills off the tongue sends a message to the universe and that all in all, the universe thrives off of our positive vibrations. Rationally I know that by just filling each moment with thought and care, no matter what it is I am doing, I am teaching them how to be light beings. But I do so little work outside the house that they are involved in. I want to get out there, be an advocate for positivity and art and change, shouting out love from every pore and watching it paint lives into a techno-color dream. At this point, the only work they really get to see me do is squint in front of a computer, writing and endlessly scouring books on yoga and energy work and right now earth building and bio-diesel conversions. At least with their father they watch him create music, they hear him, they hang out underneath his station in the music studio and feel his life work vibrate at an atomic level of their being. They can get involved in it and be part of the sound, banging on drums and fingering the organ. Writing is isolated. I write best alone. But the living and traveling research could be a blast if I could figure out a way to pull it off.

But I hold back on fulfilling my dreams. Why? Because I have always thought that during these years I should be all about the kids. I wanted to spend every moment actively loving and watching them, taking the time to care for them, having lazy days where they take the lead and I just follow. So my question remains. Do I as a stay-at-homer lavish too energy on my young? Do I let them define my life and should I be defining their with the work that I do? I know that what is best for mama is also best for baby, but what if mama wants to travel the world (with them, of course, none of this is questioning working outside the house without them) and talk to women who have had to endure illegal abortions and write about them? Or talk to women about their homebirths and finally start my book? Or seek out yogis in the mountains who have reversed the effect of age and time and write about them? Or do a tour of orphanages in developing countries and just spend time there, loving and healing each little ones, learning about how all children in some way belong to all mothers and taking some kids home? How does one do things like this with their kids in tow when one cannot even figure out how to take 2 kids out to a meal without having to take numerous deep breathes before making threats of no desert?

I am confident in my parenting. I have always just parented from my heart and the love for my kids is always the deciding factor in decisions. But I question some things, like if my current life that revolve around my youth and if we’d all be a lot happier if we just bought that van we are looking at and toured the US this summer, or purchased that world plane ticket and started off interviewing midwives in Vienna. I hope to find some answers…or at least more questions soon.

I speak in pictures….

This weekend was has been a blast. Our dear friend Jason came in representing Ojai, CA on Thursday to visit with the family and took some outrageously fun and gorgeous photos. Mostly promo stuff for Great Stone (Bill’s musical venture*). The drove out to rural desert, landed at some abandoned dog track in west Phoenix and did some industrial stuff downtown for over 5 hours. They took over 600 photos, mostly film, lots of monochomatic, but some digital. Can’t wait to see what comes out of his darkroom.

Here is some silliness that got downloaded today.

” alt=”" />

” alt=”" />

When I get the ok from Jason, I will post more. There are vibrant shots with saturated sky and fatigue hues of the desert. They posses a strange sci-fi essence to them; alien and cosmic in nature. They do say that dub music comes from another planet, though.

Really, my beat making man is just a dadda of 2 little girls, and helpful husband…and when he isn’t capturing the ancient soundscapes in endless wire from the roots up to the needles of nothingness, he enjoys vacuuming in his dress-up clothes.

*If you have any interest in reggae, specifically dub music, check out their music myspace I would suggest checking out in a week or so when they upload the newest music from their lab. It’s some really gooey sounds.

Did I miss a day?

It was a long day, so long I am not sure when it ever ended and brought on night which seemed to quickly deliver morning. I could offer every excuse in the book but I can’t stand excuses which is strange because I am damn good at making them. I should keep a book of excuses like my mom keeps recipes, logged and filed for quick and easy reference.

I have a couple I could give right now, truly legit ones, but I won’t.

Instead I will just post a few photos that make me feel unbelievable fantastic.

” alt=”" />

” alt=”" />

I made granola for the first time tonight. It was empowering. I no longer have to buy it at the market, the hemp seed one is full of puffed rice filler, light on the oats.

I used 6 cups oats 1 cup (or less) flax seed (or whatever seed) raw almonds raisins cinnamon clove nutmeg cooked those up in a saute pan for 7 minutes or so then put it a 9X13 and added 1/2-1 cup maple syrup (any gooey sweetener would work). Baked at 300 for 20ish minutes, stirring midway though.

Quite yummy.

I send off with a couple other shots I will cherish; the wave of energy in my memory of the fresh mix of cool air and warming sun flickering in and out of leaves and branches and the cold noses of my girls, is so the essence of my life.

” alt=”" />

” alt=”" />

I got a box in the mail and it contained the most beautiful sweater, soft wool and hand knit from Nepal. It was an early birthday gift from a really generous and sweet friend. The sweater is from a company called People Tree. They are an environmentally friendly fashion label who work with very small scale producers in the developing world. They use fair trade, paying them more than a living wage to escape severe poverty. People Tree set up a tech school called Kumbeshwar Technical school in Kathmandu and hired 500 people from the “pode” or street sweeping community and trained them in vocational skills so they can earn a much needed income as well as create gorgeous pieces of clothing. Tree People’s tech school also provides daycare for their students, adult literacy classes, and a saving and loan program for it’s workers. It provides education for over 250 kids and they also built a hostel for homeless children. of the area.

I come from an economic bracket and mindset that ‘more is better’. I have been trained in the art of shopping that 10 shirts for $30 is much better than 1 shirt for $30. But here is the thing, when those 10 shirts have been sprayed with chemicals, mass produced so the uniqueness is stripped and made by people of all ages who make so much less than a living wage it constitutes working slavery in my book, is that really better deal? Hell no. Wouldn’t I or shouldn’t I buy the one simple shirt for the price of ten? Of course I should. I don’t need 10 shirts that cost so little it’s a wonder if the production even got paid at all. Re-training the mind in this way is hard to do, I have tried for a while now. It’s like that World War mentality. Better stock up, might be a T-Shirt shortage. And there would be, especially in my house where I rarely do laundry and more clothes seems like a good choice. When I fall short and tell myself it is so hard to organize and streamline our closets in this way, I also have to ask myself, isn’t it hard on those people, my world brothers and sisters, the people i consider myself at one with to live in utter poverty making freight-loads of stuff for my culture to consume? I bet there lives are hard. And that puts a fire under my ass.

I visualize a world where beautiful clothes are made while people get paid what they deserve so they can live, feed their kids, eat clean food and get decent medical care. I visualize a world where more and more people choose to buy organic clothing and our natural resources become plentiful and vibrant. I visualize a drop in cancer and an elimination in factory pollutants. I visualize a world where we support each other’s unique social endeavors , even if it may cost us a little more it seems like a small price to pay in the big picture. I visualize a world where my kids wear chemical free clothing and my choice to purchase does not harm another person.

Anyway, my super-positive-idealist self is going to try to do this as much as I possibly can. I know I can’t be perfect, but I do have will power and passion. And if I can do it, and others can do it, and then more and more people can do it…it will cause a demand and the fair production fire will just spread!

What I have decided I must do is ask myself these questions before I buy something: Do I need it? Do I REALLY need it? Who makes it? How can it be so cheap? (i.e how much is it getting produced for if it can only cost $5?) Will my purchase create a positive impact on my world community?

I bet in the long run I will save more money and look much snazzier and for sure more unique.

I have mentioned some of these companies before but I will do it again. The following are awesome places to get stuff. People Tree (and my new sweater) http://www.americanapparelstore.com/ www.worldofgood.com hug pangaya fair-trade, chic, chemicial-free fair indigo Lanka Kade (toys) Smile Child (kids, mama stuff) world gallery (everything home)

*All these links are to clothes that are cute. I am a fashion whore. Granted, I am a raggamuffin, but I don’t like dumpy, frumpy or not-so-cute clothing.

Also, after a little investigating, I was told that Nordstoms has made a promise to include over 20% fair-trade clothing in 2007.

Here is interesting article: http://www.commondreams.org/news2004/1117-14.htm

Anyway. That’s what I have been thinking about today. That and how I can’t wait to be in the cold so I can put on my new sweater. What a rad gift.