Things to do pass the time when they somehow, at age 33, caught the itchy chicken pox:

Learn to make paper stars. First I started out making just five-pointed ones, but 5 stars later I am on to 10 points and proud! Oh the measuring and cutting and folding….it has been so theraputic. My goal is to have each square of my ugly French doors covered with a star. The sun shines through and gives the illusion of stained glass. It takes an really accurate person to make one of these stars look good. I’m totally not, but it’s still fun.

Internet shop. So far I have purchased 6 books from amazon used books, 2 shirts from rock star mama as gifts, 2 scooters for Mia (bought 2 because I couldn’t make up my mind and will send the less good one back. haven’t received them yet) funky stripped over the knee knit socks that will be my staple this winter. One can of blackboard paint.

Learn to make astrology charts. Sorts figuring it out. Not to good yet, but ask me to make you one in a month or so.

Make enough play-dough to last a year. I have 3 big old yogurt containers full.

Paint every toe in the house a different color. Twice.

Develop entire community puppet theatre behind my couch. Each animal has developed quite interesting characters; from tiger trapeze artist, ducky midwife, hip-hop singin’ pig, to bear street peanut vendor.

Gain weight. I mean, if we have to stay home all day, we might as well bake.

Write lyrics for husbands songs. After years of him requesting this, I finally got the nerve to do it. I am on song number 3 and think I may have found something poetic, an expression I really am liking. I get to cut and paste all these amazing words I have been collecting collage them into emotion and image, and make them beat-i-ful. We are going to test some of them out tonight with a singer.

Pull many cards. Always a fan of tarot or other kinds of intuitive cards, I just a got a new deck (I snuck out…yup…I couldn’t take it. I covered my entire body and mouth up and headed to a metaphysical bookstore by my house and grabbed the first deck that spoke to me. They are called Soul Cards. They are amazing. For the first time, I am using cards that came with no book of interpretations, just eyes (all 3 of them) and intuitive guides, and gut reaction bring you to revealing an answer to a question. I slept with them under my pillow and I think my brain soaked them all in. They are truly beautiful.

Make drinks. Currently my friend Erin, (who came to rescue me from California and help me while I am homebound) is teaching me the art of Midnight Manhattan making. Haven’t felt well enough to drink one yet, but I think tonight may be the night. Typically, those drinks remind me of old men (my father-in-law drinks ‘em) but she promises me they will be as feminine as the color rose, topped with a cherry.

Clean. I can’t tell you if ever my cupboards have even been so organized. It’s glorious.

Obsessively search every surface and crevice on my children for pox. No signs yet, although the day I broke out Sula had 2, one on her nose and one on her back. They got big and red and by the end of the day they were just gone. No scab or anything. Was it the pox? I’ll never know. I mostly likely caught the pox from a vaccinated person which gave me this weird strain which could have given her an even stranger, milder strain. I hope not, because I don’t want her to have to go through what I have been as an adult.

Make shower curtains. Made a wild batik fabric shower curtain that involved no sewing at all.

Paint Painted my bathroom walls a color called Marsh green.

Intricately think about planning my move out of Phoenix. Will it be New Mexico? Washington State? Belize? One will never know, not even me.

Continue to collect images for my Vision Board. So far I have a wide array of images of places around the world, images of kids playing with chickens, horses and growing gardens. Music venues filled with lots of people. The words: Publish Book appear all over.

Watch Curious George too many times to count.

Learn to Fire Spin I am officially a student of the Poi; they are balls and streamers on chain and string and act like training wheels for fire spinning. It is the most exciting practice I have found as of late. It’s all in the wrist and creating a space for the fire to flow. Being obsessed with fire; or should I say revering it, respecting it, bowing down to it…I can’t wait until I can perfect the art of slowly and lovingly dancing with it. It is such a meditation. Every time I have seen a fire spinner I have felt like I was going to die if I didn’t learn how to do it. So I am psyched.

Book suggestions and movies greatly appreciated.

Peace.

Sula, It seems as if I missed another moon cycle of your life. Seventeen and one half is about here. Daughter-girl, you are creeping out of babyhood and stomping right into a toddler. Like a firecracker, you keep my eyes open, my heart waiting and my jaw dropped. You stepped on my ear in bed the other day and I let out a yelp in pain. You squatted down next to my face and asked me, “wha awppened?” (What happened?Could that really be what you said?) I answered, “You stepped on mama’s ear and it gave her a howie (an ouchie).” And in that high pitched, yet far from annoying, angelic and sweet little voice you said, “‘orry mama”. Sorry mama. Dada had to wipe my heart up off the floor because it totally melted everywhere at that moment. You are engaging and thoughtful. Plus, you can count to 10. You say, 1,3,5,6,chicken,nine,ten…yeeeeeeah!!! And you applaud yourself.

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You and your sister are officially bestest friends (that’s not to say she still doesn’t drag you around the house by your shirt sleeve just for kicks). When Mia is out on errands with dada, she always calls home on the cell to talk to you. The two of you yak back and forth with eachother: Mia: Hi Sula, it’s Mia, are you feeling happy?
You: Hi Mia. Hi Mia. Hi Mia.
Mia: Sula, can you say Sula Pearl? You: Hi Mia. Hi Mia. Hi Mia Mia: Sula, can you say SUUULA PEARL? You: SSHUuula Puurl. Hi Mia. Hi Mia Mia: Hi SSSHHHHULA!

I pulled 2 animal medicine cards for you today, Sula. The first that jumped out of the deck was Turtle. Like your mama, I guess you attract Turtles medicine, a medicine that has been such a glowing and steady guide for me. Turtle is the most ancient symbol for Mother Earth…here is what our animal guide book says:

“it is the personification of goddess energy and the eternal mother from which our lives evolve. We are born of the womb of Earth, and to our her soils our body will return. In honoring the Earth we are asked by Turtle to be mindful of the cycle of give and take, to give back to the Mother as she has given to us.”

Like a turtle Mother Earth has a shell of protection for herself, for a long time we have defiled and polluted this earthen home. She has protected herself with climate alterations, volcano creations, new eco-system growth, what some may call natural ‘disasters’. I think this card, though pulled for you on your 17.5 cycle mark, is a reminder for me on how to raise you: consciously and directly connected with Mother Earth in our whole life, not just parts of it. These days don’t allow for half consciousness, you were born into interesting time; times of evolution and possibilities. You were born in the age of change and it is a blessing. You are here as a steward and guide and I feel if we life such a way, I won’t have to teach you to give back to Mother Earth, rather we will just be that giving/receiving force on a daily level. It will become your life, and therefore your children’s life, and their children’s and so on. Your dad and I are happily working hard at manifesting a space directly involved with nature’s cycles; the town, the land, the house, the daily routine…it’s all in the works for you and your sister, Sula. Soon little bear, soon. I know you came to us because we had this dream. Turtle medicine validates it.

The next I picked was Butterfly. Transformation, of course. It couldn’t be more appropriate It is the mind, the air and the cycle of life. You are really transforming, little one. You were a baby a stones toss into the past, and now you are recognizing your mind as your own and your body as a tool to maneuver and to feel good through this funky dream we call life. Your eyes are getting bigger, your legs longer, your hand motions more precise, your verbal ability is moving in leaps and bounds. Your love of nudity is inspiring, even when I am stepping in pee puddles throughout the house and tracking it all over. That said, your love of nakedness has not reached your feet. You like the clothes off but your furry lined suede boots on. And sometimes with Mia’s undies on your head. You are kind and sensitive to your sister, a trait she may be learning to be through you. As you are learning to be light and airy, forward, clever and loud through her. Just like her, if you are being quiet and I can’t seem to find you, it’s not trouble you are in to; instead I will see you in a cozy corner with a pillow reading books. You love books. And as your tiny little fingers work hard turning the pages one by one, you speak out loud the story you are being shown, only you can understand yourself, but that’s cool. You love doing yoga and recently you received a book from Leigh with Barbar the Elephant doing yoga in it. The book came with a poster of yoga poses by Barbar and we hung it near your play space and every day we find you there trying to balance in tree against a wall, or on your tummy with your arms reaching up…up. I can’t even utter what kind of hope this gives me. Ahh, if only I was doing yoga as a toddler…what a gift you will have! A life of freedom and breath! Goat yogurt is your favorite snack besides blueberries and eggies. You are still nursing whenever you want to, and it’s wonderful. It’s our downtime, your quiet time, when our eyes meet and we understand that we are exactly one together. You run and play, sing and dance (you have mastered the hip lock and your beat precision is inspirational). You don’t say no anymore, your say “nope! nope! nope!” Your wings are spreading out larger, golden, glittery, feathery and lush. I won’t be surprised if you rise up in flight soon. I hope when you do you will teach me how again.

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I know I can never do you justice with these words. They are only markings in stone so that others and yourself will know what it means to love this hard. You are imprinted in my cells, every single one of them at such a cellular level it can be considered the great space of all things. And there, in that space, is where I will hold these moments for eternity.

I love you Mama

The Land Of Enchantment.

I guess my obsession with New Mexico started when I was sitting in a little New England style cottage, circa 1800’s, in the small village of Lilydale, NY. A world renown spot for mediums, I was getting a reading by an old Ex-nun turned psychic/medium. Her name was Mary, and in mid-sentence while talking about the 3 grandmother figures who were floating in the room around me, guiding me at all times, blurts out: have you thought about Santa Fe, New Mexico? One of these grandmothers wants you to think about New Mexico.

That’s all I needed to begin an affair full of intrigue and curiosity with this land they call enchanted. I spent 2 nights in Santa Fe once about 5 years ago, but other than that, had never explored it. All I knew is that it had mountains, forests, water, sun and snow. Plus it’s government supports sustainable living and alternative energy more seriously than any other state in the Nation. Sounds good to me.

We chose Christmas-time to go because for us, Christmas has nothing to do with Christianity or religion, so when this time of year comes around, I easily celebrate Solstice, but for Christmas, I am not quite sure what to celebrate. I am not about to be void of it, with children it’s best to go somewhat with the flow. It was time for us to develop our own celebration, hand pick friends/family that can vibe with the style of celebration, and do it, for the first time with our kids the way it felt it should be done: from our hearts. I can’t deal with dogma or biblical stories, or even the consumerism this culture binds to holidays. For me is needed to be about moving into grace and joy, yet I wanted ritual and service. Church for me has always taken form in the shape of a yoga pose and breath or when I am being swallowed by pristine natural surroundings, ocean and snow always helpful. I wanted to take my kids away into a joyous womb, away from tradition that stems from foreign belief systems, and start our own Christmas rituals of spending the days that surround the holiday deep in nature, communing, celebrating and giving thanks. Gift giving is always fun, but I needed it to be the last and smallest area of the holiday. Eating like a pig can be fun, too, and it seems to be part of the Christmas tradition, but I wanted to do it only after serious hike. And I wanted to be naked. Too many years I wore itchy tights and scratchy skirts. Clothing was not an option. I wanted our Christmas to be an adventure. And adventure it was.

After arriving in New Mexico, we hiked around spots in the area we stayed in, Espanola, NM, a small primarily Spanish-speaking community, not rural at all, but very centrally located. We were 20 minutes from Santa Fe, 30 minutes from Taos. We rented a small cottage at an artist retreat center. It was homey and nice, though fireplace-less and the lighting sucked. It was large enough to fit all 6 of us plus the dogs comfortably. We were on a couple acres of land and the ground was covered in sticky, crunchy snow. The owner of the property greeted us with an array of colored eggs from her Hens.

We began our adventure on Christmas Eve, getting up early and driving into the Jamez Springs wilderness, about an hour outside of the Santa Fe area. We were on a search for hot springs, as we were told some of the best hot springs in the country spilled out of the mountains around these parts. I found that hard to believe because we’ve soaked our fannies in some of the best springs; along the Salmon River in Idaho, deep in the Tetons outside of Jackson, WY, along the cliffs of southern California at Deep Creek. But we figured we’d check them out (we would NOT be disappointed) and we all loaded in the Westfalia and began our search to soak. On our drive we ran into big-horned elk, about 7 of them, majestic and grand, slowly marching along the snowy bowl that was created by a once active volcano explosion. Elk’s medicine offered us stamina and endurance. After we hung out with Elk, we ran into Bald Eagle, who always connects us with the grandfather sky spirit. We knew when we saw eagle, we were on the right track. He soared above the VW for about 5 minutes, putting on a wind-riding show for us, as we crept along the bumpy road, silent and in awe.

Once we hit the road we were told to take, it was apparent that we needed stop and chain the tires. Supposedly five miles down this mountain road we’d hit a trail which would take us to hot springs that a local man, hesitant to give us directions, told us ‘was not for beginners, but for the true and experienced hot springer.” We accepted his challenge while he scribbled a map on a scrap piece of paper. The road to the trail was about 10 feet wide covered in snow and to the left was at least a 1000 foot drop-off a all times. I gulped a bit and closed my eyes. Like my mother, I am not good with heights unless my feet are firmly planted on the ground. Luckily, Jason was driving. Bill was in the passenger seat. The girls got the back seat which held their carseats. AnneDorthe and myself, along with my two Husky’s squished on the vehicle floor. At points the road was so bumpy that my head hit the ceiling of the van. With any other person behind the wheel I would have said to stop and turn around (although turning around was impossible on a road that narrow). But because it was Jason, an x-professional race car and bike driver, I could not have felt safer. The girls were giddy after all the bumping and bouncing and when we finally arrived we had a snow-ball fight in celebration.

After we gathered out towels and extra clothes, strapped the babe to my back, the adventure continued and it went like this: (all photos by brother Jason Byal, www.moebyal.com. These photos may not be used without permission anywhere else).

Over the rickety bridge with raging river below. I was concerned Mia would be complaining by this point; the temperature, which was about 30 degrees was cold, but the sun seemed to over-ride the crisp air and she seemed to be in just bliss; this child is made for the frost, her cheeks lit up like apples and her lips were the shade of ripe rose. She glowed from head to tow. Even her hair seemed to de-tangle and her limbs loosened. She was totally excited about crossing this bridge, which freaked me out a bit with Sula on my back. It was covered with thick ice and had many missing wooden planks. She said she felt like Dora on her Pirate Adventure. My girls is so bad-ass. ” alt=”" />

Up the mountain. We had to climb about 1 mile straight up, about 1000 feet, to reach a 7000 foot elevation. It was the perfect amount of climbing to build up a sweat so when it was time to strip down to our skin while the snow spun around us, we’d be warmed up. Mia said the sun felt like gold. I couldn’t wait until she felt the warm water of the springs on her ivory skin. ” alt=”" />

Almost there…this way… ” alt=”" />

To the hot springs. Need I say more than this vision we stumbled upon while switch-backing in and out of dark pines and over big boulders? ” alt=”" />

And this was just the top layer. Three other pools tiered below this top one. The temperatures ranged from about 90 - 100 degrees. Perfection. Not an ounce of sulfur smell…which happens in a lot of springs. The bottom of each pool was sandy and the rocks were just slimy enough so they could be pillow-like.

I am at a loss for words to describe this place, this gift. Not one word except maybe ooooooh. Or Ahhhhhh. Definately Oooooooommm. And sublime. At one point I was able to head down to the littlest pool, lay myself out and vibe on the miracle around me for about 1/2 hour. I went so deep into relaxation. It was like I was completely sunk into the heart of the mountain. I felt the beat roll inside me like Balinese drumming. Mia was in awe, her eyes searching the scene, from mountain peak, to sparkly snow drifts, to distant animal sounds. She dove, floated and kicked. It’s always nice to have a cold water source near a hotspring. Rivers are good, but even better are piles of freshly fallen snow like we had that day. After we got nice and warm in the water, Mia and I would jump out and do snow-angels, naked, in the snow. Our bodies in perfect shock and ready to jump back in the hot water. When our skin meshed hot with cold, an electric, tingly, burning sensation would volt through us. Both her and I let out big and satisfying: AAAAAHHHHHs. Sula was a bit apprehensive,but that is her nature. She got in with small cries, and as soon as her skin acclumated, she softened, relaxed and sunk into my lap, latching on, while her legs limply floated at the edge of the water’s surface. She was alert, yet somewhere else. I kept asking her, “Sula, do you like the water?” She’d gaze up at me, her big brown eyes, mouth around nipple and nod her head and say, “uh-huh” (aka, yes). She wanted to stay in that position for hours. I realized after a bit that the way she felt in my arms in those springs was close to exactly the way she felt in my arms when I lifted her up out of the water from the birth canal.

It was extra-sensory, mind-blowingly spiritual, and the best gift we could have ever given ourselves. I tend to shy away from photos of my kids (and me) that bare bodies, but I can’t resist.

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Here is Mia learning to be a goddess from her mama and auntie AnneDorthe soaking below her. ” alt=”" />

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Our Family Christmas shot: Merry EVERYDAY. ” alt=”" />