happy ten.
Ten things about today that brought such love into my space. Happiness.
ONE
Waking up and having 2 hours of cloudy, overcast morning.
TWO
Climbing “hills” for 4 miles on the tread-mill at the gym and doing 100 different variations of squats. They felt so damn good, my muscles were burning and alive, the energy moving throughout my systems and stimulating them all. Sometimes stillness is where it’s at, but other times movement brings me such joy. I don’t love a good workout. Gyms repel me. I love being outdoors and sweating and a yoga practice, but I am allowing this different type of adventure (the gym) bring me joy. It feels good.
THREE
Coming home and finding five ¼ eaten apples on the floor in the girls bedroom closet. This is not what made me happy, wasting food pisses me off, but I got excited because I finally had to make applesauce, and it was really good. Apples, agave nectar, tons of cinnamon, water and the juice of a lemon.
FOUR
The roasted beets I had for lunch and tossed with olive oil and lemon and garbanzo beans over greens. So fresh and alive. My fingers are still pink from chopping them.
FIVE
Finding this in the mail. I can’t even explain how comfortable, and comforting this band is. I feel really supported and strong. It comes with this little insert filled with lavender and flax and it goes in a zipper pocket right in the center of your belly. It smells divine. When the baby is born you can put it in a pillow next to baby or just lay it on the bed. On the under-side, right in the center of the belly we well, is a perfectly embroidered Lotus flower.
SIX
Re-finding this bad-ass comfy, kinda sexy tube dress which works perfectly for a pregnant night out. Or in. As a matter of fact I wore it to dinner at a local bistro and then came home and slept in it. Gotta love the duo purpose clothes. And it looks great with the Sweetness Belly Sash. It comes in a billion different colors and I may have to get a couple more. You can also wear it as a skirt and a shirt. (Americal Apparel)
SEVEN
Getting a letter in the mail, handwritten (that doesn’t happen often) along with a fun tourist brochure of Bellingham and Mt. Baker. The short but to the point letter says: Dearest Bill, MaryBeth, Mia and Sula, Just wait till you get to see this most beautiful place in the world. There are more blackberries here then I have ever seen. Every corner, even in the city, has a bush full of blackberries and I am pretty sure they will still be ripe when you get here. Lots of Love, Jason and Anne Dorthe. Thinking about blackberry pie and brumble makes me very happy.
EIGHT
My husband’s arms. I thought I was going to have to sneak a snap and not tell him I was going to post here. I could hear him saying, my arm on your blog? Please don’t. But then I forgot he Man, proud of his muscles made from Hard Manly Work. He actually made me take like 5 shots because he didn’t like the angle I was shooting at. And he posed! Finally he sighed and said I had no concept of perspective. I told him to watch it because slowly his arm was going to be cut from my happy list. But really, it’s not. It’s big and strong and beautiful and it makes my day when it holds my kids and wraps me tight when I feel like shit.
(this photo refuses to downsize. kinda like my husbands ego right now, hhhmmm.)
NINE
My Mia’s day of easiness. Not once did she throw a raging tantrum or talk in the demons voice or whip something(like her sisters dolly stroller or a book) around the house in a fit of anger?frustration?saddness?. This has been happening lately, quite a bit I am am sorry to say. Of course, I kept judging myself, WHAT I done wrong to make her like this? I started doing the ‘time outs’ and then I started giving ME ‘time outs’ and then I tried rationalizing with her and even bribing her (ugh). I tried the corner, which broke my heart. But, after serious discussions with my man, we realized this was a gift of life, actually, as we are being asked to practice deep, deep exercises in patience and love. So instead of judging my/our/selves for why she is being like this at this moment in her life, we are being conscious of how we react to who she is being. We let her be this person. But while she is in these super hard places, we just hold her (which hard to do to someone who may me trying to hurt you or throw something or raging with words), we tell her we love her so much and we understand how she feels. That it is okay to feel so mad. She allows us to hold her, she welcomes it, too, which I was surprised to find. I figured she would push us away in rage. We come now from a place of compassion instead of control and frustration (and that is NOT easy to do, but it is doable I am finding out, And fullfilling). I think we might have figured out what she needs right now. We need to be her tools, her examples. She is a brilliant and energetic little girl, and as she cusps the age of four she desires lots of attention while we have been preoccupied with the move. She is also a bit nervous about a move, understandably so. She as well is a perfectly clear mirror for our own stresses right now. She wants to know that regardless if she needs to turns into Lucifer with nefarious wings, we love her madly. So now we just show love to her when we least want to.
(this photos refused to downsize, kinda like my daughter’s ego right now….)
TEN
Watching my girls eat ice cream cones tonight. We took them to the ancient Mary Coyles in central Phoenix. Their little tongues swirling the sweet cream, and then licking their lips made me swoon. They both picked their chips of chocolate out of the cone with their little hands, examined them, and popped them in their mouths, enjoying the melting on their tongue. They worked hard to crunch their cone without letting their ice cream drip down in waste. They were so careful not to spill on daddy’s new truck (instead of going inside we just sat in the back of truck under the stars and night heat. It was the most simple, sweet pleasure of my day. To observe. To swallow up whole what this life, this moment is all about.
AND BONUS
So of course this list was written yesterday and never got posted. But this morning when I got up I had one more to add. This right here is why I get up in the morning. To laugh with them, and at them.
