after-thought and offer.
after i wrote that rant below i thought for a bit about the nerve i have to even question the Universe, like it was some kind of authority figure instead of being the very essence of what i am.
i gave up on wanting or caring where i was or who i was with or when we were going anywhere; be it the store or another state. it felt good to just float in this space. i am so blessed right here and right now i don’t need another thing. and i figured if i lived here for the rest of my long life, i’d be a lucky person. i am provided for. my kids breath deep and we can run fast. my cupboards are full of goodness and my house vibrates with music. i have more than health and wealth than 80% of the world. and for that, i need to shut up and live this life, right now.
and then at my midwife appointment about an hour after accepted these ever-present thoughts as my person truth, M is feeling my baby through my belly, and B gets a ring on his phone. we got an offer. if all goes well we close Oct. 10th, on the road and entering a new place just in time for my new year: Hallow’s Eve.
how humbling to just relax and be glad for what you have. and how natural, of course, that when i accepted the long-term of my life anywhere, i get the go ahead: now you can fly.
this life sure lives.
1) Wow - for the long rant. 2) More wow - for the above. Keeping fingers crossed.
Comment by Sanne — September 6, 2007 @ 6:01 pm
Acceptance. Surrender. Are there really any other lessons to learn? If so, I haven’t found them. That doesn’t mean it can’t be damn hard, though.
Comment by gearhead mama — September 6, 2007 @ 6:04 pm
Amazing!
Comment by Doulala — September 6, 2007 @ 6:12 pm
So, so happy for you MB. Isn’t that how it IS though? You finally reconcile, give in to the most simple of all: to just BE, and there you have it - what you originally desired happens. I pray for you that indeed, all goes well. It is your time, for wanting or not. Of all people, you DO appreciate everything, so this is very much deserved. Bless you!
Comment by Joanna — September 6, 2007 @ 6:32 pm
Wow. Congratulations.The world works in mysterious ways.
Comment by Beth — September 6, 2007 @ 7:45 pm
I was attempting to find two brain cells to rub together in order to give you a reasonable comment on the last one - but now this one’s much easier for me so I’ll got for it instead:
YAY!!!!!
Comment by sweetsalty kate — September 7, 2007 @ 1:03 am
Woo-hoo!
Comment by writermommy — September 7, 2007 @ 7:22 pm
I’m going to miss you being in the desert. I do hope you enjoy the North West. You are a wonderful friend and I have a rock and the memories of the greatest chocolate cake ever to prove it.
Comment by Karen — September 8, 2007 @ 3:36 am
Oh, MB! I’m so happy for you! I can’t WAIT for all the Pacific NW posts!
Comment by sarah jane rhee — September 12, 2007 @ 8:48 pm