two months
Hard to believe, my littliest love. You are two whole months old. It was just about this time in the dark of night, 31 days ago, that i tossed and turned in bed wondering how long I could ‘rest’ through those contractions. I lasted about half hour more and then I allowed the wildness of the storm that was pounding down outside come in, taking over my body-house, my heart-home. And like a force of nature, destructing everything that stood in our way, we birthed, we rebirthed, and we birthed some more. Birth is in the spring air tonight and I can feel so much life bloom back into me after a long period of allowing myself to die. I think back. Black, obsidian, lava, tidal, hard earth, gigantic pellets of hail, tiger uncaged, unleasing, blood red expression, spiral, snakes, wet. Just words that come to mind about what your birth was like. Your story is not completely told; your father and I work on it together each night we feel creative and aware, and soon we may share it with the world. Until then, let’s just bask in your beauty:
You are smiley. Empress Smiley. The smiliest of the Coven.
You have very long eyelashes. I wish I knew how to use m camera and focus in on them more. I also wish I could capture the color of your eyes. Some days they are green. Some days they are sea grey. The have a spiral of flaxen brown, bursting from the center. I wonder if they will change, yet another daughter with my dark eyes. Or will the jump into lightness and mirror your daddy? Either way we all get lost in them.
Sometimes you can be very serious. As in you seriously like to be adored and loved, admired and showered with attention. You don’t play games. You tell me what you want and when you want with just a simple look; no loud sounds, just a stare.
You truly become disgruntled with clothing. Especially anything with attached feet. You like your long toes and arched feet to wiggle in the cool air, unhindered by cotton. You are still little enough that your lower half and upper half seem like two seperate entities and not completely whole. You like to air swim (move your arms around and around) and you love to run, run, run….JUMP (moving your feet and legs and the kicking them up, like you are trying to jump).
You love just hangin’ with your big sis. She makes you coooo, and ooooooh, and aaaaahhhhhh. You also love to be hummed to, which Sula is very good at doing.
You get the most sleep in the house. Mama has some bags. Mia has serious bags, poor thing, she gets the least amount of sleep and carries the ‘grump’ for all of us. You on the other hand sleep all day, all night. You’d sleep tons if it weren’t for those crazy sisters always waking you up with tickles and kisses (I am not just saying this: your sisters ADORE you and are constantly wanting you to be awake so they can play with you.) You are a Sleepy-poo. For now. I know there will many sleepless, teething, stuck on my nipple nights, but for now you like to dream, curled next to me and your dad, and that is fine by us. We are all so busy lovin’ you up, we mostly forget to brush our hair and teeth and some days we never leave the bedroom until the sun screams at us to go play outside somewhere and have a picnic consisting of chocolate chips and apples.
You come from the Elf family, just like your mama (notice her right ear) which is great and tricky and silly and fairy friendly. I adore you; your ears, your eyes, your gums, your radiating heart. I mean, there is no other way to say it but: thank you. Thank you for coming here, to this home, this crazy, loud, wild home and accepting us, wanting to be with us. I think it’s an understatment to say that we feel blessed. Blessed. Little Dove, we love you.
Such gorgeousness. xoxo
Comment by sweetsalty kate — April 3, 2008 @ 10:10 am
What a yummy elf and a beautiful love letter.
Comment by Jena — April 3, 2008 @ 11:47 am
She is absolutely precious and I’m so happy for you. Anna Sofia had elfin ears too. So sweet.
Comment by Ninotchka — April 3, 2008 @ 1:27 pm
oh those smiles.
As you unravel her story, your story, the story of your creation together, know I am here.
May spring continue to come, breathe life back into your bones.
I love you.
Comment by bella — April 3, 2008 @ 2:54 pm
She is so beautiful. That third picture blows me away. I feel like she is looking directly into my soul.
Comment by gearhead mama — April 3, 2008 @ 3:43 pm
How you manage to be so profound and eloquent in the mommy-fog of new baby bliss is astounding. Loved this sweet, sweet letter. And the way her little elfin ear is folded over in the ’serious’ shot. She’s delicious.
Comment by Melissa — April 3, 2008 @ 4:00 pm
That photo of you two is priceless - I love how long and lean and newborny she is - beauty all around, all of you - love - XO
Comment by Joanna — April 3, 2008 @ 6:26 pm
I think you did an excellent job capturing her beautiful eyelashes (and her special spirit).
Comment by Awake — April 3, 2008 @ 6:29 pm
oh that baby, i miss that girl. her intensity thrills me, so much wisdom behind those mysterious eyes.
can these pix get any more scrumptious? i love her chubby little fat rolls in the picture of you holding her.
xoxo
Comment by Leigh — April 3, 2008 @ 7:09 pm
Moonlight and sunshine.
Comment by Karen Maezen Miller — April 3, 2008 @ 8:10 pm
Wow, she radiates the most spectacular light. Just like her mama.
Comment by Jane — April 4, 2008 @ 4:24 am
god these pictures and your words and the process you are traveling through with your birth…
i am in tears over your beauty.
Comment by jessamyn — April 4, 2008 @ 4:51 pm
Thanks for sharing the beauty. That eyes can see and what beyond eyes can/cannot see. Z is gorgeous, and so are you.
Comment by Janis — April 4, 2008 @ 6:32 pm
z is beautiful. you are beautiful. i am so proud of how you are dealing with the unexpected emotions after her birth. i don’t even know you and i’m so proud.
way to go mama, way to go little zadie.
Comment by Amber — April 5, 2008 @ 2:10 am
happy 2 months, precious girl. what a gift she is … to all of us. thanks for sharing her cuteness, mb!
Comment by jouette — April 6, 2008 @ 6:24 pm
I love this post.
Albie hated, and still hates, clothing too.
Comment by heather — May 16, 2008 @ 5:02 am